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Part of the agreement is I write down everything that happens, and I haveno problem with that, since I keep a diary anyway. My diary has kept mesane for years of being stuck as a male, and the only difference is forthe first time, someone else will be reading my entries.I hope I dont bore them to tears talking about being trans, but itsimportant. My whole life I KNEW I was really a girl, but after gettingthe shit kicked out of me by my dad, I realized I had to pretend I wasnt.I did everything possible to "man up". and even took steroids to bulk up.The result is I'm five foot-eleven, and seriously muscular. And lookpretty stupid in a dress.I had a breakdown last year, and finally realized I was killing myselftrying to please my old man, who was long gone, and for what? Nothing, asfar as I could see. But by the time I realized it, I figured it was toolate, I was not passable, so what could I do?Fortunately, my shrink happened to know the guys doing this experiment,and soon, I was. As we exited the bus, I left her, and went to the newsstand and bought the Journal, the Post, the New York Times, and the San Francisco Examiner. I also picked up a book, Poland by James Michener, from their small selection of best-sellers.When I left the newsstand, I walked down the block and found a place where I could buy a cup of coffee. I had one cup in the coffee shop and then got another large one to go. I spent the morning listening to some fine Christmas music and reading my newspapers. When lunch came around, I got the opportunity to meet Will Hanson. He looked younger than I thought he would, but he seemed nice and wanted to go sailing. He had a small pick-up truck, so we drove down to the marina.The boat, which was ready to go, was in nice shape. I found out that she (the boat) was, a 1982, thirty-nine foot sloop rigged for speed. He asked if I had sailed before, so I ran through my few adventures in Rhode Island with Ken Parson and my adventures in Chicago and Idaho. I.
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